What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
