nut hugger
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
