Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
