grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize