And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
