Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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