Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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