never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
