Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize