I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
