Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You made out with two different species that night
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
