just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
