Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
