honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
