I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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