Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
