tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
