He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
