They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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