Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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