can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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