I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
