We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
