he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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