One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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