quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
