I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
