It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
