hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
