Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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