I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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