it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
