i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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