When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
