Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
