That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
