Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
