So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize