i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
