I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
