absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
