He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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