I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
