i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
