How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
