I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
