Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
