Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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