Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize