dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
