I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
