Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
