You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
