Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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