you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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