Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Randomize
