Ambien. No doubt about it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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