How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
