Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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