atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
