we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
