i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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