Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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