We need to rekindle our bromance
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You're like the curious george of whores
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well I just put wine in my tea
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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