Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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